The Stages of Withdrawal
Addiction has sent you a friend request!
Disclaimer: The following subject matter deals with a personal journey to Hell and back. It is a story of one man's struggle to overcome his demons and find peace, without the hounding torment of a psychological addiction driving the constant pursuit of the next fix.
I have an addiction. They say the first step to recovery is the admission of a problem. Well here here it is, and here I am. I am addicted to the Facebook. It started out innocently enough as experimentation with a Hotmail account, sending emails to friends now and then, just keeping in touch. That later introduced me to MSN Instant messenger, game changer. Soon to follow was the MySpace. All of these innocuous "social networking" tools were just a gateway to the ultimate thrill, Facebook.
Starting out with a single friend (Bulbasaur, if you will), I was soon in a race to acquire every single human being I have ever come in contact with during my entire existence as a friend (150). I'll save the details on how fucking cool Facebook is because you clearly have an account since you are reading this on the internet.
You really need to hit rock bottom before you see a need to make a change. The signs were all there: Facebook application on cell phone, constant obsessive compulsive status checking, versed in knowledge about current events in hundreds of stranger's lives. My wake up call came with the realization that I couldn't do anything non-Facebook related on the internet for more than 3 minutes without feeling bugs crawling under my skin.
It was time to quit and quit for real. Cold turkey. None of this "temporarily disable" bullshit, where you can have full access to your account returned any time you feel weak and lonely. Full exclusion is the only way to quit anything ever, at least truthfully. Assholes that say they "quit smoking but still have one every now and then" haven't quit anything. They continue to smoke and are therefor continue to be a smoker and a liar. It's like recovering alcoholics that claim they just bought a drink to prove to themselves that they wouldn't drink it. If you are an addict, at least be honest and don't lie about quitting, it cheapens the accomplishment for all that have actually conquered their vices. While on the subject, alcoholism is not a disease. Drinking is a choice. Obtaining alcohol and subsequently consuming it, is a willful action. Own up to your choices and stop pretending to be a victim to events that are out of your control. If an alcoholic has a disease then by that logic a child that was molested by a priest has a disease. The child [alcoholic] did not want to get molested [drunk] by a priest [alcohol], the priest [alcohol] forced himself onto the child [alcoholic] who resisted priest [alcohol] at first, but was ultimately overpowered by the disease that made him get molested [drunk]. I guess we need to redefine the definition of Rape.
Rape - a primacy, chronic disease with genetic, psychosocial, and environmental factors influencing its development and manifestations. The disease is often progressive and fatal. It is characterized by continuous or periodic: impaired control over flirting, preoccupation with wearing slutty clothing, use of "come fuck me" eyes despite adverse consequences, and distortions in thinking, most notably denial.
So I quit Facebook fully and completely. All information, every picture and comment associated with my account was removed from the internets forever. I was off the grid, practically unreachable, unlisted. Unplugged from the machine I looked around at the newly discovered world I found myself in. I, like Neo, had chosen to take the red pill only to wake up to the harsh reality that I didn't actually have any friends. I felt comfortable and confident with me decision to quit "booking" as the kids call it, but sure enough seconds later I got the fear.
The Stages of Withdrawal
Symptoms: Tachycardia, diaphoresis, catatonia, priapism.
- Withdrawal: After opting to permanently delete my account I was informed that I had a 14 day period to change my mind and embrace the addiction again. If you log into your account at any time during the fortnight of friendlessness the permanent deletion with be aborted. Relinquishing Facebook. Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave.
- The Honeymoon: Life great without Facebook, you have no idea why you ever needed it in the first place. I realized how much time was wasted on trivial eavesdropping and pointless connectivity. All computer related tasks are completed efficiently and in a timely manner (you no longer have to stop watching porn because of the stupid bell that goes off when someone sends you a message for no reason). Oh what's this, a real book!?
- The Wall: Everything is going smoothly until you need to contact someone. I used to hate those assholes without a Facebook account, now I am one of them. I don't have anyone's phone number, who uses a telephone anyway? You find yourself being forced to talk to people in person, which is a truly horrifying experience. You don't get invited anywhere and loose all of your social connections.
- Adjustment: Usually this is the part where you accept the changes required to move on and live addiction free. I lasted 2 months Facebook free, but I guess after the 3rd stage of withdrawal I went on to...
- Denial - The Holocaust didn't happen.
- Regret - Should have punched Bieber when I had the chance.
- Relapse - I got a new Facebook account :-(
- Recovery - The seventh studio album by American rapper Eminem, released June 18, 2010.
Content copyright . Mike Corp. All rights reserved.
