This Is Just Wrong
Facebook is a great tool [- noun. Slang: Vulgar, Penis]. People willingly catalouge and display important information that makes any stalker's job easy. With an easy click and a quick creep you can find a person's: phone number, home/work/school address, work/school/exercise/drinking schedule, list of fears, movie review, hang over status, new pet situation, favourite song. That last one is important so you can find out what the kids are listening to these days.
Speaking of kids, I don't care about your kids. Stop posting pictures of your children. Please give enough of a shit about your own flesh and blood to not destroy their privacy from infancy. Remember when you were in high school and your date had to meet your parents and they embarrassed you by bringing out your childhood photo album? (Oh you don't? That's right, I forgot you aren't in high school yet.) Well that will be even easier because by the time your kid is old enough to have their own facebook account they will already be tagged in 3.8 million pictures chronicling every moment of it's meaningless existence.
It is not often that one can use the phrase "I couldn't care less" truthfully. But I can honestly say that I couldn't care less about your dumb ass child. Fuck, I lied. I care less about your dumb ass child if it isn't fucking born yet. Now I'm sure it's a very exciting time in your life, bringing a new life into a world that is over populated, underemployed, and malnourished must give you a lot to think about. Will this new person have all the necessities of life in a world with global warming, a global energy crisis, a collapsed global economy, finite fresh water supplies, bankrupt social security, decaying health and education systems, and Justin Bieber? Oh, you probably didn't think of that shit either.
The point is, the axis of all that is wrong with the internet, social networks, and the display of personal information can be summed up in the following examples of too much fucking gross information.
The last thing I want to read about when obsessively keeping up to date on useless information concerning people I don't know or like is the exact measurement of your expanding vagina. And fuck YOU for clicking "like" next to "this is the size of my gaping puss." That's fucking wrong and perverted. Actually, I'm going to start updating the world on the size status of my orifices. People clearly want to kept posted. After all, knowledge is power and you can never have too much information.
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