Fingering a Soggy Hole

Fingering a Soggy Hole

Do you ever walk by something everyday that you look at but don't really pay any attention to? They are mostly ordinary objects that require no second thought. Our brains are phenomenal at recognizing patterns, so after a while we just know the octagonal red sign with white lettering and a white border means 'stop'. Today I took the time to really look at a sign that I walk by 50 times a day. It was the pictogram of a man, a skinnier man wearing a giant lampshade over his torso (probably couldn't find a barrel and suspenders) and a human/wheelchair hybrid cyborg. Underneath these generic images was the word 'restroom' and under that, braille. Like I said, you see this sign constantly. But the thing that made this sign seem particularly peculiar was its location on the wall. In order for me to put my put my fingers on the braille, I had to reach my hand over my head. I am 6"3'. This means the writing intended for blind people was almost 6 and a half feet off of the ground. Who is that there for? Did Yao Ming go fucking blind? You're probably wondering about the title of this post and its relevance to anything. It's a universal experience. Everyone has done it at least once in their life. You may not ever want to admit it, but it is fact so don't deny it when I call you out. 

So I'm in the washroom and I'm washing my hands (only because I pissed on them by accident/splash back) only to now see that the paper towel dispenser is broken. The crafty solution by the proprietor of the establishment was to place a roll of paper towel on the counter. I finish washing up and do what we all do in the same situation, I stuck my fingers into the roll creating a makeshift spindle to facilitate the dispensing of absorbent dried pulp. The only problem is that I was not the first to insert my wet hands into a cardboard roll. There I was, standing in the mens public toilet, fingering a soggy hole. There was another time when I was in a washroom that could only be described as the inspiration for "the worst toilet in Scotland," and there was one of those $1400 Dyson Airblade hand dryers that can also be used as a flux capacitor. I had to laugh like hell.